hagstones

hagstones:

I actually got one more thing to say to chris before i put this shit to bed. (oh and chris, if you’re reading this, be sure to read this too if you haven’t already)

i’m not trying to get you fired, lemme say that. If i was, your ass would already be fired. I just don’t wanna fucking work the same shifts as you, okay????

so stop telling ppl (or one particular person), that i’m trying to get you fired by telling iain that you don’t have a high school diploma. what the fuck do i care if you didn’t finish high school? You have your reasons and i understand them, so JUST FUCKING STOP.

and if i were trying to get you fired it’s bc you fucking harass me outside of work. remember when my grandpa died a month ago and i wasn’t answering any fb/txt messages???? and you KEPT MESSAGING ME ANYWAYS SAYING

WHATS WRONG

DID I SAY/DO SOMETHING?

I DON’T CARE WHAT’S WRONG I’M GOING TO KEEP SENDING YOU MESSAGES UNTIL YOU RESPOND

once again making it all about you. get your fucking head out of your ass, and lift yourself from this high fucking pedestal you’ve put yourself on. I am a human being and i am entitled to my own fucking privacy especially when the greatest man i ever knew died.  

and let’s not forget the classic “So when are you going to bring nolan over so i can meet him? I’m your friend, you know, and I care about you.”

like do you think you’re my father or something? i’ve known you for less than a year and i’ve been dating him for almost 3 years? AND WHEN YOU DO MEET HIM YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF BY SAYING ARE YOU NOLAN? I’M ONE OF CAILIE’S ~FRIENDS~. 

YOU DON’T EVEN GIVE YOUR NAME LIKE WTF. 

YOU WERE SO OBSESSED WITH MEETING NOLAN. DID YOU THINK I LIKE MADE HIM UP OR SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU AT BAY

the worst thing though was during the conversation with iain last winter, was that iain reminded us the dating guidelines in the company. that was so fucking insulting. EVEN IF I WAS SINGLE I WOULD NEVER FUCKING DATE YOU LIKE YOU’RE PROBABLY THE REASON IF I EVER BREAK UP WITH NOLAN I’LL EITHER TAKE ON A LIFE OF SOLITUDE OR DATE WOMEN. 

god i’m just so done, so fucking done

joint-eater

joint-eater:

Chris, if you’re reading this right now, there’s one thing I’d like to say to you. 

Stop. Stop chasing me; you’re only hurting your cause. 

I know you think I’ve hurt you. I know you think I’ve betrayed your trust…but that trust hasn’t been there for a long time. 

You can say all these things to try to justify your actions, to try to get me to pity you, but it won’t work, because nothing justifies what you’re doing to me. 

You sent me an unsolicited declaration of “love”, you’ve burdened me with your sorrows and your problems. I am not a mule, I am human and I am not designed to take on more than I can handle. 

I don’t care if you want to be just friends. you said it yourself “Even if you got another girlfriend you’re not sure if you’d ever get over it, for as long as you see me at work, the pain you feel will still be there.” I did us both a favor by showing Iain the message. 

I don’t want to see you because i know that by your seeing me, it tempts you back into those old habits. 

because, see, when you like something, you don’t just like it. It consumes you, you obsess about it, whether it be graffiti, your pain pills, or me. 

I’m sorry for the awful things that have happened in your life, but it is no excuse for you hound me for attention. I am not obligated to be your friend, I am not obligated to be your mule. 

Just leave me alone. Please. 

I do not want to have to take extraordinary lengths to make sure you don’t try to contact me outside of the work place. 

We live in a world where women die or get raped because they reject men. We live in a world where women watch their backs at every corner. You make me feel unsafe. You may think it’s unwarranted, but in this day and age, it’s not. 

I would be lying right now if I said I wasn’t very scared sitting in this apartment building by myself, wondering if you’ll show up. 

Whenever you send those messages my heart stops, mostly because I am scared of rage. You can say all these things about yourself to justify your actions, speak of your mental illness, your bad home experiences. But they don’t justify anything. 

Chris, if you’re reading this right now, there’s one thing I’d like to say to you. 

Stop. Stop chasing me; you’re only hurting your cause. 

I know you think I’ve hurt you. I know you think I’ve betrayed your trust…but that trust hasn’t been there for a long time. 

You can say all these things to try to justify your actions, to try to get me to pity you, but it won’t work, because nothing justifies what you’re doing to me. 

You sent me an unsolicited declaration of “love”, you’ve burdened me with your sorrows and your problems. I am not a mule, I am human and I am not designed to take on more than I can handle. 

I don’t care if you want to be just friends. you said it yourself “Even if you got another girlfriend you’re not sure if you’d ever get over it, for as long as you see me at work, the pain you feel will still be there.” I did us both a favor by showing Iain the message. 

I don’t want to see you because i know that by your seeing me, it tempts you back into those old habits. 

because, see, when you like something, you don’t just like it. It consumes you, you obsess about it, whether it be graffiti, your pain pills, or me. 

I’m sorry for the awful things that have happened in your life, but it is no excuse for you hound me for attention. I am not obligated to be your friend, I am not obligated to be your mule. 

Just leave me alone. Please. 

I do not want to have to take extraordinary lengths to make sure you don’t try to contact me outside of the work place. 

We live in a world where women die or get raped because they reject men. We live in a world where women watch their backs at every corner. You make me feel unsafe. You may think it’s unwarranted, but in this day and age, it’s not. 

I would be lying right now if I said I wasn’t very scared sitting in this apartment building by myself, wondering if you’ll show up. 

Whenever you send those messages my heart stops, mostly because I am scared of rage. You can say all these things about yourself to justify your actions, speak of your mental illness, your bad home experiences. But they don’t justify anything.